Case Study

One of our former students is going to school for Physical Therapy and wants to specialize in dancers. She's been hanging at the studio a lot, taking class and observing, and it's really lovely to have her back in our lives!

She informed me that one of her classes required a case study on an infectious disease/natural disorder. Would I help out if it was on clotting disorders? YES. Any chance I have to get the word out and help a friend is a good thing. So far she's had me answer a few questions and review a bit about the post-embolism experience as far as how much exercising I am able to do, all pretty straightforward stuff.

But now the big stuff happens. We've been trying to coordinate an interview over the past few days, even though Nature has had other, snowier plans. So we came to an agreement--I would record myself sharing my thoughts and feelings about my experience and put it on DVD for her to show her class. I think I'm a bit scared.

The problem is I haven't really gotten to talk to that many people about what happened to me and how it affects me emotionally, how overwhelmed I get about the whole almost-dying part of it and how sometimes I'm afraid that I've dwelled on it for too long. It's always been about my meds and how those effect me, am I tired, does my scar bother me much--the medical side of things is all I'm really able to discuss because when I'm around people I have to have the game face on. So I'm not afraid of talking about it from the patient perspective.

I am very concerned about keeping it together long enough to record this. It's so important to this girl that I share everything I can. The problem is I've got eight months worth of stuff that I haven't shared with anyone except Fahnz and I don't know what I will do if it overwhelms me. He'll be around while I record, thank goodness. I doubt I could do it alone, just like I don't think I could have survived if he wasn't in my life.

I am wearing a very meaningful t-shirt for this. I hope she notices.