Blergh

It's winter. It's cold. It makes my scar hurt. Do not want.

I love being back at work, though. It makes being back on the Coumadin a little more tolerable--that and knowing this is only a 3-month go. The worst part about last year was not knowing when I'd be off that stuff. Now I know and I hope that this time, it sticks. If I calculate the timeline correctly, that puts me getting completely cleared around the one-year anniversary of my initial collapse. If I end up a lifer, so be it. At least now I know what to expect.

I still feel a bit lost, I guess because I was gone for so long. Thankfully I'm surrounded by people who understand how it feels. Two of my students have been invaluable in helping me talk this through because they've been through major surgery and understand how your brain can bend when it comes to the healing process.
My vascular surgeon's office called last week to let me know that everything was pretty well healed, blood was flowing as it should through the IVC. Am working up to stretching, dancing more--rebuilt my sister's website for her dance company from the ground up (thanks for the lessons, Fahnz) and beat "Scott Pilgrim: The Game" last night. Life feels almost normal.

Stuff I want to do:
A dance to "Far Away" from the Red Dead Redemption OST. That song is flawless.
Drop 20 pounds.
Sleep.

I love being alive.

MEK Tuesdays

This had better be good.

Back to it

No running marathons, no heavy lifting--but I get to go back to the studio today! YAY!!

It's really been difficult, being out of work. I've read up on post-surgical depression and it's given me a lot more clarity about why I'm so miserable. I'm unproductive, couldn't get out and go for walks or exercise properly, felt useless no matter how much housework I did. Hopefully that ends today. Plus I get to start a dance--Mum picked out some KILLER music for the recital this year and it looks like we're starting way early.

The nice part is, the day of my return is the day that the kids who were there the first time I went down are the kids I'm teaching. Seems like they're the ones who get to see me through all of this--my one-year PE anniversary is on a Tuesday this year.

Also today I am getting my blood drawn for another d-dimer, the test that determines if there is the potential for reclotting. I had an ultrasound on my stomach to see how my IVC is healing and the tech checked my leg while I was there. No new growth, which is wonderful because I've been off Coumadin for a month. Fingers crossed--I want that tattoo.

Got some insane boots for Christmas but I gotta get a bigger size. So after my blood draw I am off to *gulp* MACY'S, which hopefully won't be too bad because it's daytime. THEN I'm off to Powder Valley for a nice calm walk. Apparently after abdominal surgery of any kind your tum can be puffy for months. Do not want. Been popping antacids over the past few days and it really does help.

So here we go. I have a fresh haircut, new dye job, and a less than 5% chance of going back on meds. Life starts again today.

MEK Tuesdays

Sorry I missed a couple. Between the holidays and recovery and having a freaking COLD at Christmas it's been a very strange few weeks.

Kitty, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Happy Holidays

I got you a Round Thing.

Still need batteries though.

MEK Tuesdays

This moment of cuddle time photographed by Fahnz. Ahh, cuteness...

Smack

That's me running into the wall. Being home is driving me completely bonkers. I'm cleared to drive so I can go short distances, like to the grocery store and such, but I won't know if I'm okay to go back to teaching until they do an ultrasound on my IVC. It's scheduled at Kick-Ass Vascular Surgeon's office on the 30th of December--at 8:15 in the morning.

I will not be able to partake in any of the tasty coffee that usually starts my day. That's fine, I can juice up on the way home. Still, it seems like a dream that I don't have to do anything clot- or surgery-related until AFTER Christmas.

The worst part is not getting to see my students. The Nutcracker was so beautiful and I am proud beyond words of not just them, but ALL the kids who were in it! Alas, I won't be able to return until KAVS says so. So I'm at home, running out of things to do to keep myself entertained and driving Fahnz crazy because I insist on doing chores. I just feel like nothing would get done if I didn't do it, and it keeps me moving which is a very important part of the healing process.

I'd finish Final Fantasy 13, but that involves a lot of sitting still. Ditto for Bayonetta.

Yesterday I was so desperate for entertainment I cleaned the take-up roller on the vacuum cleaner.

Am rereading Neuromancer. Since watching Splice, I realized that Vincenzo Natali is the best possible director for the Sprawl Trilogy and I hope it gets done. Gotta love it when the right movie and the right director find each other--just like my excitement when Pascal Laugier--if you haven't seen Martyrs and you're old enough to handle it or have a properly iron stomach, DO SO NOW--was shortlisted for Hellraiser. Imagine the sad in the Fahn household when he stepped off the project.

Round Thing has an idea.











Yes, sleepy time is good.