Meow what?

WANT!!

I did it!

I just walked a 2/3 mile trail with lots of hills in 90 degree weather.

My lungs are screaming at me, I'm sweating in places I forgot I had, and there is not enough cold water in the world to soothe my burning throat.

But I feel good. I did it.

Now I'm going to join Fussy Thing in collapsing on the floor.

MEK Tuesdays

D'awww.


I get to see this kind of thing every day. And then they start beating the bejeebers out of each other.

Tomorrow is...

Happy Twelve Weeks to meeeee!!

Saturday

Stepson is in Florida, so what do we do?

Rent a Rug Doctor. I think I have reached my doctor-approved level of exercise for the day.

Apply to write about PC gaming from an artist's perspective.

Rediscover K-Mart. Yay for cute pants!

Tweak the studio website.

Play with MEK and Round Thing.

Take a twenty-minute walk down a big hill in ninety-degree heat. Feeling very proud of that.

Think about how lucky I am that I've got Fahnz.

Watch ComicCon coverage for a few hours. Simon Pegg's real voice is fantastic.

Find something for dinner that involves minimal cooking time.

Go to bed early.

It's the simple things in life that make me happy now-a-days, because the idea that I almost missed out on everything still lingers in the back of my mind and I want it to stay away. Seems like gratitude for the small joys keeps it cooped up quite nicely.

Life changes...

and I gotta change along with it.

Thanks to the damage to my lungs, I've had to severely reduce my activity level. The result?

Gaining a bit of weight. So here I go with drinking a lot of water, going for walks around the neighborhood--a little bit farther every time--and cutting my consumption in half. I can't wait for classes to start back up so I can get a proper workout with my students. I want to go for a walk right now but it's in the mid-nineties and my lungs hurt anyway from being out a few hours ago.

My steps forward are getting bigger all the time.

MEK Tuesdays

I love this picture.
Our kitties sit and look out the window all day long. They've got it rough, let me tell you.

Saying Goodbye

So I finally got the courage to watch the"Deadliest Catch" episode in which Captain Phil goes Home.

It was beautiful--Jake finds his strength and goes to rehab, Josh steps up to the Harris legacy in a conversation with his father that made a lot of people cry, and Jonathon Hillstrand shows the world who he truly is. There are instances that bring the truth out of people, and to see one of the frat boys from the Time Bandit become a pillar of support for an old friend's sons kinda blew my mind.
I hope the Russell issue doesn't dog Jon for the rest of his career on the boat--indeed I find myself wondering if he's planning on returning to the TB at all. If he does, he needs to be there for Scott, who seems to be more and more like his uncle every episode (minus the hair plugs. Andy Hillstrand, you do not need to be looking like Donald Trump!) This show has become less about the job and more about the men on the boats. They are no longer strangers on an icy sea.

But I didn't shed a tear. Maybe because I know how it feels to be on the edge of life and death, and how simple it would have been to slip over that line and into eternity. It was a strange kinship, knowing that the same thing that almost took me was the thing that claimed the Captain, and I was expecting to be shattered by this episode. What I felt instead was so much pride in and love for the Harris brothers, because when it comes to it you have to be strong enough to let go.
I think Phil knew all along that he was ready to go, he just wanted to go back to the sea in his heart and having the boys there would have distracted him from his crossing. God bless you, Captain Harris. You will always be on the sea, and your memories will be part of the sky.

I'll let Freddie, my new hero and sage, take us out...

Rest?

Recital is finally over and I can get back to healing. It's been hard--out of the eleven weeks since I had the embolism I was in the hospital for one and rested at home for one. Nine weeks of teaching, doing recital work, all sorts of things to take my mind off what happened.

Now it's done and I am home with my thoughts and my aches. I want to go for a walk today but it's too hot right now. I want to watch "Homicide" again (one of my friends did a brilliant write-up of "Three Men and Adena" which can be found here) and finish a few video games. I want to go through my closet, get rid of some things.

Most of all I want to feel like it's okay to finally rest. I'm tired.

MEK Tuesdays

This is the face I get when I disturb her from a lounge-a-thon.

Later she tried to bite me. NOT GOOD. One little claw-slap and I had a bruise for a week.

She's all "Gerroff me!"

Five more days

and then the recital will be over. Hopefully then we can get some rest.

I find this inspirational:

Brucie the cat and Meggie-pup, lounging in harmony. I want to be anywhere close to that peaceful. Won't happen anytime soon but at least Fahnz is understanding about the situation. Normally I would go on about how great he is but I think anyone who knows us is already aware of that.



All of my mother's pets match not just her house, but each other.
I am not kidding. Two tuxedo cats, one black-and-white pupper, one black-and-brown pupper, and one gorgeous collie.

I guess it's a sign of an artistic mind, that she has matching animals. If they can ever get together and sit still long enough for us to get a picture, it should totally be her next Christmas card.

At the moment my girls are curled up on the couch. They spend a lot of time snuggling:

and sometimes I'll find myself with one kitty on my left arm and one kitty on my right. It's like being smothered in love.

Pearl was needy today. She carries stuff around and talks very loudly when she gets like this. I think she's looking for me and wants to bring me presents. When I came home from the hospital she would not leave me alone, and even after nine weeks since I've been out she sits at the window waiting for me to come home from the studio or come in from my walk or from getting the mail. If I'm inside she follows me around and squeaks. Yes, that big kitty squeaks like a baby bird... but when she's curled up in my lap and purring, it's like she's a tiny kitten all over again.

In fifteen hours and seventeen minutes, it will have been ten weeks.

Giving back

I want to do something. I want to teach people about what happened to me. I don't want to see another human being suffer like this.

Insomnia

Don't know if it's related to the meds or to post-embolism stress, but I seem to have developed an inability to get to sleep. Interesting.

Thank the gods for Discovery. I've found interesting shows, odd shows, shows that make me say "Ehnk?" and shows that make me clutch my metaphorical pearls. Right now I'm watching Mike Rowe on a chicken farm. He's such a regular Joe type, I can imagine he'd do the jobs even if there was no show because it's just so damned fun. More fainting goats, plzkthnx.

I love the hell out of Deadliest Catch, kind of want to snuggle it a little, but I just can't get through any of the current episodes. Knowing that someone as amazing as Captain Phil died is one thing . . . knowing I had the same thing happen to me, the same thing that eventually took his life . . . it's kind of mindblowing and more than a little intimidating. Freddie's speech ("Can't catch a dad every year") to Josh in the wheelhouse last week was absolutely shattering. Fahnz replayed it for me on the original broadcast, but it wasn't until After The Catch last night, seeing Freddie relive the conversation for Mike and the rest of the Captains, that it really hit me that Phil was gone, and I will admit I cried. I pray for the Harris boys, for Freddie and the rest of the Cornelia Marie crew, just like all of the other fans. Do you think they hear us?

Oh, and Jake Anderson? You are one tough human being. Stay strong.

Discovery has started running American Chopper, and I am tickled to bits about this. It's fascinating to see family businesses, the good and the bad. In the case of the Teutels, you also get the WTF? It wasn't that much of a surprise to hear the family was having trouble--seems like the rivalries and arguments were pushed and played up to an extremely unhealthy level in the later seasons. So why am I tickled about this show?

Because the bikes are pretty damned cool.

Right now Mike Rowe is playing with three-week old chicks. This would make quite a few of my female friends and some of my gay friends explode into little puffs of sparkly smoke. There's something about really manly men playing with cute baby animals that could quite possibly heal the world. Maybe that's what I should do for therapy! Yes, I think I'll go look at pictures of Fahnz holding Round Thing . . .

MEK Tuesdays

Cuteness in stereo.

Round Thing was TINY when I got her. She could fit in the palm of my hand and leave room for a sandwich. Now she is a big girl. Really big. One of my friends likens her to a furry tank, armed with pens and ponytail holders, squishing everything in sight and squeaking all the while.


Her new family nickname is Pearlschweiger. I have no idea where Fahnz came up with that, but he's brilliant and I love it.